|
Every one is a unique individual
 " Simplicity should be envied more than luxury " |
refresh
profile
tutorial
affies
twitter
follow
前人栽树，后人乘凉}
Sunday, January 15, 2023 | 11:43 PM | 0Comment 在这段感情里，是你教会了我，没有人从一开始就会谈恋爱。五年的时间里，我曾埋怨你不是个浪漫的人， 也想过你对浪漫过敏吗，怎么与想象中甜甜的恋爱这么不同。 一开始，我一直在想若不是你会这样？也曾想过如果不是我，那你会怎么样呢？我一直觉得应该会变得更好，我会慢慢适应你的方法，可能忍忍就过了，如此的想法。我也想过为什么你就是和别人的男朋友不同。 五年里，我曾经以为是我能适应了你。但我忽略了我们彼此都在适应对方，也忽略了我从你身上学到的点点滴滴。在这段时间里，我很感谢你愿意忍受我的脾气，更正我的态度，更感谢你一直都很尊重我的想法，认真对待我的感受，以及把我说过的话都认真地想过，改过。从中，你反而做到了比我想象中更好，更难以想像。 也因为是你，我变成更好的我。 因为你，我学会了你独特的恋爱方式。你很特别，你一直都在用你的独家方式爱我，保护我，教导我。 如果说 “前人栽树，后人乘凉” 那我很庆幸能当你的前人，感受你给我的爱，从你身上学会了爱人， 学会了恋爱。你是否能给我个机会继续当你的后人，享受着乘凉的日子，在我们的恋爱中， 继续引导对方，继续互相相爱？ Whats left behind remains there and then}
Tuesday, October 4, 2022 | 10:06 PM | 0Comment Today I finally say it out there and then that "I AM RESIGNING." It was a consideration after months of thinking and ups and downs of whether I should proceed, but a decision spoken on haste and worry. With my throat condition worsening within the first two months of work, starting in March and the condition came up as early as April, I was already regretting this choice. I thought I can pull through this condition and did therapy and endoscopy but therapy can only help as much. Every week felt like an uncertainty, 'Will I pull through this week without an MC?" I thought to myself. My inability to decide came up as everything was so perfect. The environment was open, the colleagues were collaborative (minus the gossips), the leader was loving where I could work and improve on my own, I had free meals and I was losing weight consistently. I'm unsure if I will be able to find a better environment. Sometimes I thought to myself, all these perks exceed my throat condition. But as October came and boss mentioned that she is going to inform us of the deployment of classes next year, I made an undecided but haste decision of just letting all go to leave. Once and for all. Boss was quite apathetic of my situation and even cried, which made all my confidence to talk went down. I was stuttering because I just could not cry. I was sad but resolute I'm leaving. She respected my decision and even told me that I will only get my 13 months bonus if I work until end of Feb. She also gave me many options to rest but I don't think I want to do this child-rearing job after my rest. Somehow I have rather mixed feelings now. I feel guilty towards boss and kept thinking how I am going to face her in the next week months. Can I still smile and laugh? But at the same time, I am glad to be clear of this by next year, and thought that I should be feeling happy instead. What an episode for my first resignation. What will my next step be and what track will I take? 21 May 2021~~ My worry One }
Saturday, May 22, 2021 | 12:00 PM | 0Comment A while ago, I learnt that by writing down my worries, I will later realise that these worries are actually uncalled for. By writing down, it can relax my mind and remove the space taken up. As someone who is consistently predicting the consequences, it has constantly prevent me from taking actions. I am often worried that this or that may happen and become hesitant to do it. What prompted me to begin this post is my first embarrassing blunder at work yesterday. During the zoom meeting, I accidentally shouted, "Teacher R, What is the code?" when my mic was unexpectedly unmuted. This was right after Ms D, the vp, said the code. I felt super embarrassed and red in the face. Even the other teachers all felt embarassed, I could sense. However, I kept telling myself that they will be too bothered to remember since they have other more important things to see to. I can't help but keep thinking back to the incident consistently until today. Therefore, I decided to write down to remove the space from my working memory and put it to the long term memory section to not think about it. This writing does help, and perhaps I might continue stating my concerns in future. Now back to focusing on my studies! 26 - 27 May 2020 ~~ A rollercoaster of emotions}
Wednesday, May 27, 2020 | 10:38 PM | 0Comment It has been a while since I last wrote a blog post in English but I shall do it with today's post to express my emotions more accurately. Events flashed by ("passed by" is too mild to describe) during these two days. 26 May
I realised I do have a lot of missing time! Wow seriously! In this current period of job search, I no longer feel lost but more of having to make decisions. My theory of "prioritizing the one that comes first" no longer works. Everytime I want to resign to fate and just accept the offer that comes my way, a greater, better opportunity comes.
HOW DO I CHOOSE?? This really forces me to make the decision that I will regret less. But the question comes, "Which do I regret less?"
15 - 25 May 2020 ~~ 打麻将}
Monday, May 25, 2020 | 4:08 PM | 0Comment 转眼间，几乎十天的日子就这样过去了。我原本坚持写每天一篇文章的目的也失败了。那好吧，反正每天也没什么新的事情发生。就写最有趣的吧！ 这个礼拜又是打麻将的礼拜。刚好有一天，我代打了。5小时输60. 打了一局半，资本出的 40 加再赞助的20，我真的输惨。这是我第二次打。第一次是去年的新年，只打了4圈，32 就说拜拜了。这次好多了，不直输，还赢了两次，加一次的不知道我赢了的情况。 但重点不在于输赢，重点在于我似乎已掌握规则，会打了，也会算开局。 同时，我也发觉自己是多么不喜欢风险的一个人。我不喜欢砸钱做一些没有把握的事情，更讨厌意外小财。我觉得钱得靠自己的能力赚，不是只想着发财。 12，13，14 May 2020 ~~ 第二次面试经验！}
Thursday, May 14, 2020 | 10:30 PM | 0Comment 12 May: 这一整天都在准备面试的题目。眼看明天就要面试了，但题目还是没有答完，有些紧张。在这个寻寻觅觅找工作的过程中，加上经济不景气的局势中，我已经不知我的方向在哪了。理想工作，我没有最基本的学历。愿意培养我的工作，薪水低。我能接受的工作，我一直拖着申请，感觉写一张有质量的简历得花很久，干脆拖着。我能做的工作，对于行业，我真的没有兴趣。所以，到底该怎么选？？所以，今天我干脆从头开始。先例下我的技能，之后答面试题目。就这样，一天过去了。。。 13 May: 早上我早早就起，为面试做准备。自从上次的教训后，我在前个晚上就开始准备用ipad调面试最好的背景。面试十点，我九点就开始做准备，剩余时间就做最后的资料搜索。面试准时十点开始，好过之前第一次，我等了40 分钟！ 面试进行的很顺利，我对自己的表现也很满意，虽然没有回答太多问题，但没有太紧张，简单明了地回答。我不觉得我一定会通过，但至少我达到了面试的目标；开心地与面试官交谈，准备妥当，没有辜负自己。真希望还是有第二面试的机会，但同时，这也促使我更努力地找工作。 14 May: 今天早上7点做早餐后，就懒惰至10点。后来索性打算今天成为休息的一天。下午还睡了午觉，旁晚做个运动，晚上也没什么成就。明天就是大战的一天了！加油！！ 11 May 2020 ~~ 就这样一天有度过了}
Monday, May 11, 2020 | 10:52 PM | 0Comment 星期一，被迫待在家里的一天就这样过去了。今天我认为是满载而归的。 今天所完成： 1) 面试准备 2) 与 A, E & X 一起玩 overcooked, 运动 3) 读了一本书 感觉收获不少。 但今天我也有所感触。我发现在盲目的找工作的期间，我似乎迷失了自己。没有的所谓的 “学生” 身份，也少了工作机会，收入，使我对生活的每一天与我的收入做了比较。似乎没有收入等于在浪费每一天。没有了目的，我的每一天似乎只是因为工作与赚钱的目的而活。颠倒了赚钱使我能生活得更充实。所以究竟人是为了什么而活呢？意义又在哪里呢？我仿佛看到了数年后沉迷于生活琐碎的自己，而不是那个曾经骄傲的说自己是为了热爱生命而活。。。 |
