It has always been like that. Everytime i meet an obstacle or a failure, i would choose to watch my drama so that i would not think of the issue anymore and not stress over the matter. Otherwise, i would pen it down in my diary and blame myself for all that has happened. 

But today, after an important interview, I realised that all this while, i have been doing all the wrong things. Although i was aware that i was running away, i dare not face the issue, not to say find solutions to solve the issue or make improvements. Even if i tell myself that i cannot repeat the same mistake again, these mistakes just come up naturally to me and cause all the regrets that i could have avoid. 

I shall begin with my interview today that went wrong. Preparation. That is all i have to say for my negligence. I couldn't stress more on how important the interview for today was, but yes, i have portrayed myself in front of the interviewers "well". The interview required me to bring my portfolio documents so that they can assessed my character and achievements.  However, despite all the preparations i have done to create a good first impression for my dressing, I neglected the the supporting parts. 

Obviously, without bringing the relevant documents has already create a "wonderful" first impression that the interviewers had of me, hence there is no need to mention whether i would pass the interview. The answer is pretty obvious. I have thought through a lot on my way home. Standing in my own view point, i would hope that i would be given a second chance and not be judged purely on first impression. However, if i were the interviewer, i would probably not want to waste my time on such a person, as after all, there are many other sronger candidates that i can choose from. Apparently, although i was the interviewee, i could only think of what kind of impression i gave to the interviewer. Perhaps i did not have enough confidence, perhaps i was good enough (which is unlikely) i rather not be proud of myself and think of myself as someone who is too good for anyone. After all, there is always people better than yourself. 

Well the main point is, how I could have improve my faults. Know this: The matter is no longer on how much i blame myself for the mistakes but how i could identity the mistakes and find solutions to improve. Look ahead, not behind.